Went to watch Cinderella with some friends (thanks Kelly! <3) After the show, we were walking across the avenues to get to the car when we rounded the corner and I saw freaking Benjamin Linus from Lost walking his dog. Our eyes connected but I wasn’t positive it was him until someone brought it up in the car and then we all proceeded to lose our shit.
I took the train into Queens by myself and holy moses, it was a two hour ride. When I got to Queens, I met up with my cousin and her boyfriend who protected me against the intense Chinese people in Flushing. Flushing isn’t the place I used to remember, there are so many people now that it’s kind of overwhelming. I had dinner with Annie and Michelle, it was kind of weird how things can just resume as though they’ve never changed, but they have changed because its been five years. Annie and my cousin were telling me that I should take the kind of dangerous “Chinatown” bus to get back to Brooklyn instead of taking the subway. (It’s dangerous because they speed and I don’t think there are seat belts.) I told them I didn’t know how to get home from wherever they stop in Brooklyn and at least with the subway, I know how to do it.
Yesterday I sat on the sofa, listening to my mom talk about how she’s gluten free and how I should do it too. (I could never do this. I love bread way too much.) I also spent two hours on the phone talking to one of my ex-coworkers, Damian, and one of my friends from kindergarten, Carina. It was so easy to just talk. I missed talking on the phone. Some other friends and family are telling me about jobs and asking if I’m interested. It makes me happy to know they think about me and are all, “Holy shit, you’re back? When are you free? Lets meet up.”
My friend Will told me, "Let New York embrace you." At first, I was very hesitant, it was one of those awkward embraces where you do the double pat on the back and try to pry yourself free because you’re afraid of catching something. It’s getting easier day by day. It really is because of all the people here. They make it so easy for me to transition back. Everyone, here in New York and there in Sapporo, makes it easier for me to smile and be happy.
— Natalie Lloyd, A Snicker of Magic (via quoted-books)
When I was studying photography in school, a common thing we’d do is present one person’s work across tables, look at it and then critique each other. In the beginning everyone was endlessly polite and positive. “I like it” or “It’s great” were things commonly said. After two to three weeks the polite barriers would fall and the truth would come out. People were vicious with each other.
I presented a whole bunch of photos I took when I went to Taiwan and Hong Kong. I think my project was called something like, “Someone Else’s Home” and it consisted of landscapes of high rises in Hong Kong and cats on motorbikes in Taipei. One of my classmates who always had really grunge-y and a lot of street photography said something to me that stood out in my memory. He said to me, “You always make it work.”
I’m trying to make my new life work now.
On Sunday, my mom drove me to Queens so I could go have tea with my grandmother and make the rounds. She said to me, “You seem kind of…down.” I was wearing my sunglasses, so I’m not sure if she saw me tear up, but I told her that there’s a lot for me to adjust to. I hope I can make it work…I talked to some friends of mine who returned to their countries after JET. One said that she was depressed for awhile until she found work and another said, “I’m still doing it” when I said to him, “i don’t know how you did it.”
I’ve finally done it and have left Hokkaido behind. It’s a bittersweet; I’m happy to doing something else with my life, but I didn’t want to leave the life I had in Sapporo. I’ve only been in NYC for a bit over 24 hours and it still feels as if I’m on vacation and will return to Sapporo. Its necessary to constantly remind myself that this is not the case.
The flight was endless. It was 2.5 hours to Seoul and then 13.5 hours to NYC.
I don’t know what else to say.
1. Moving has been driving me crazy. I spent all afternoon in town, buying presents for my family and for friends who are getting married. I eventually got home and ordered in curry.
2. I’ve just come back to Sapporo after spending a week in Hong Kong and a week in the Northern Territory of Australia. This was my fourth trip to Hong Kong and no matter how many times I’ve gone, I always end up having such a good time. This time I watched two movies (the Fault in Our Stars and Guardians of the Galaxy - both B-ish.) When I was watching TFIOS, I constantly was rolling my eyes at the dialogue. Definitely better written down than acted out. Can you imagine a teenager saying things like, “I’m on the roller coaster of life and the only way is up” or some shit like that? Anyway, Hong Kong is a BEAST. Cantonese is very enjoyable to listen to. On the plane I was eavesdropping on other families, a sister and brother were talking and saying, “do you want to watch Spider-Man together?” So cute.
3. Australia was different. We went into the outback and saw a lot of dead wallabies on the side or in the middle of the road. There would be miles and miles where you wouldn’t see another person. It’s way different from growing up in a city of 9 million people. The night sky was gorgeous though. I love looking up and being able to see so many stars.
4. I’ve become obsessed with Brooklyn Nine Nine, such a good show!
5. I don’t like goodbyes. I said goodbye to the Sarahs today and cried a little bit. Life is weird. I’m happy and sad.
Sometimes I think about all the things we’ve said to each other, listen to Adele songs and think about all the what-ifs.
- “Sometimes, someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.”—
My So-Called Life